The Next BIG Thing... Perhaps

As things were going horribly wrong last night, well OK, no more horribly wrong than any other night recently, I stumbled across what may just become the coolest idea EVER! I found myself chatting with [heck I can't remember names so we'll call 'em] June and Raymond. June was a younger gal, dreaming of moving to Montreal to focus on her passion for photography. Raymond, an ex-Los Angelean was nursing a sore back he had hurt while doing a finish carpentry job. The conversation swapped back and forth between my standard dirge rant against French Canadians, how Toronto would make a far better choice; and stories about hanging doors and knocking together cabinets with my father. I saw Zelig again for the first time a few weeks ago, scared me as much as it did the first time I saw it.

The great idea came from Raymond. I'm not certain whether he claimed to have actually done this, he described it as though he had. Essentially, when he jumps the train home from work, he scans the crowds; like the pea in the roulette table wheel, he eventually fixes his gaze on that certain someone. To call this person his "victim" is kind of creepy, so we'll call this person his victim. The victim unknowingly has become the pace setter, the paper thrower, the rabbit at the dog track, that unlucky Ethiopian selected by his pursuers to breaks in front early then fades at mile 23. Getting to the point, lets call the game "Stalk-Walking", please if you have a better idea, that one wreaks of the whisky-soaked head it just came out of.

Anyhow, Raymond claims he quietly watches these people. Rides the train with them to their stop. Discretely follows them home, to work, or wherever it is they're heading, kills them then steals their belt buckle... wait, sorry, that's not it, right... He essentially follows them home then walks on by as they head in, you know coincidentally like. He'll head on a bit, then bend his way back home. Connect two random dots that otherwise have no need to be connected. Place yourself at random somewhere in this massive place, wander through it unscripted in a play that's been started by a complete strangers simple desire to be at home.

My heart races at the thought of giving this it's first tug.

I'm certain, I'll pick some dude, some dude who could under any circumstance beat the living crap out of me. This would be far too dangerously rude a stunt to pull on some young woman who may already have some built in paranoid defense mechanism which alerts her to jerks like me. So, I'll follow a thick knecked dude out to Morning Side; or I'll follow Mr. Ti-quon-doh out to Flushing, Jamaica; or maybe I'll take the L and follow someone out to New Lots, New Lots, one of those places I know only from waking up in shaking my head saying Gord, not again, not again, frik I gotta pee!

So, off I go, sounds like a Friday after work kind of thing to do. Remember, if you do someday get the funny feeling that that weird old guy IS following you, don't worry none, it's probably just Gord or Raymond, a couple of old "Stalk-Walkers"... Man, that's dangerous advise, better bet: Mace Me! I'll say hello to Brooklyn for ya. Oh, and if you're wondering, I once walked from Greenpoint to Bay Ridge incorporating both the Manhattan and Brooklyn Bridges into my route... Outside of say a few places, say Far Far Rockaway there ain't no place these pins can't get me back from... In other word... no one is safe.